On reading and Writing

Every Author I have met, read about, listen to speak etc.  Has always said an important part of writing is reading.  "Always read" seems to be very common advise.  Now I know that I'm not a 'professional' writer in the sense that I haven't been published *yet*  But I have to give the same advise, and add to it,  "Always read good books"

I'm currently working on draft 2 of my WIP, the very first work that I've gotten this far on.  And I'm seeing a trend.  When I'm reading a book that I don't like very much,  I find it much harder to write than if I'm reading a book I love.  I know that I need to learn from the books I don't like and try to not add the same mistakes to my writing.  But I feel like I need to read more books that are awe inspiring.  At first I had a hard time with reading AWESOME books while trying to write, always telling myself 'man they're so much better than I am!'  But I'm learning that I draw the most inspiration from those books, and starting to see that there is no way I can compare my 1st draft, which has these giant holes in it, to this beautifully finished product I hold in my hand.  I'm seeing just how much work goes into writing and I don't think you can truly compare any writing to a finished published work, until yours too is finished and published.  'UGH its so hard to do' you say?  I agree I struggle with it still and yet I throw out the advise anyway.  Maybe in part to help it sink into my own brain.  Maybe in part to help others who I know have been feeling the same way.

Well keep reading and writing and finding inspiration in everything!

Tabula Rasa

"Tabula Rasa is my brain don't mean to bug or drive you insane.



Don't have to guess just what I'm sayin if I had a point I'd say it plain.


Dammit my brain is blank


and now I say it would be a lie if I said I was inspired


nothin' to say but that's ok.."


I've been stuck in a rut lately.  Not just in writing but in reading, working, and life in general.  I hate when I get like this. I can't seem to pull myself out. I'm bored. or feel like I should be doing other things no matter what I'm doing. blah! I need a break from my own head.  Usually books help with that but lately they feel the same way, a waste of time, like I could be doing or even reading something else. it makes my head tired and spin a bit. It's like my life is in pause mode.  we're waiting on news for a house, Pause.  My head hurts, Pause. The booth needs to be in perfect order ALL THE TIME, Pause. All music is annoying currently, Pause. No book can hold my interest, Pause.  My writing isn't flowing, Pause. GRRR. someone get me out of my head quick!

Can I move yet

Well five days off work sounds awesome, and it was nice, I've been going crazy! I played WAY too many hours of the sims. Cleaned my house which is already not clean again. 'Fixed' my bathroom sink (just don't let it run too long or use the stopper.) which lead to me getting bleach on the carpet *face meet palm*. And did NO writing or reading. Ugh. I feel brain dead. our intention was to go away even if only to wendover but car repairs and registrations ruined my life. Needless to say I am ready to go back to work. But more than ever I am ready to move! We got some news, I guess, on perfect house but since I don't fully understand it I'm going to wait to share. Anyway it's time to get back to work and out of this apartment.

A letter for you

I miss you.  I'm sad all the time that you won't be here to play with my future kids.  I hope you're teaching them all you know now.  I look at all the pictures of you with the other kids and know mine will be missing something great.  It makes me so sad I didn't have much time to get to know you.  I sometimes feel like I just always need to be the strong one it's not me who should really be the sad one.  I only knew you about a year and the least of anyone else.  But I find myself looking at pictures and videos often, wondering about you and crying.  I see the hurt and sadness in his eyes sometimes although he tries to be strong and happy.  I know that will never fully go away.  He needs his brothers.  I only ever had a brother growing up so sisters I was nervous for when it came to family.  Brothers I was excited for! Brothers I knew how to handle.  But I was wrong, I don't know how to handle you being gone and not getting to know you and well.... it breaks my heart.  I just wanted to say Hi and we miss you. You probably already know that but I like writing things down.  I always have.  You'd laugh at every unfinished novel or story I have. dating back to Jr. high times. but I'm sticking to one and I hope it works out.  we're good and mostly happy :) we'll love you forever.

Andrea

I hate waiting!

Waiting is the worst thing in the world! Whether your waiting in line at a grocery store or waiting to hear if you get the perfect house, it's always torture! And yet we spend a lot, if not most of lives waiting for one thing or another. Once I get an idea in my head about something I always want instant results and sadly that's not how the world works. Patience is a virtue. Yet one I seem to not posses.. I guess I should work on that.

The things nightmares are made of

Today I decided that my downstairs neighbors are possessed by the devil! While getting ready for work this morning it sounded like someone was running around on my ceiling. Well I happen to live on the top floor so it's not really possible it's upstairs neighbors just being annoying right? After a few minutes the noises stopped and then resumed right underneath me. My immediate conclusion is that my downstairs neighbors are evil and running around on their ceiling! It's logical. Or maybe it's only logical in the mind of a writer. But I still think it's real! I'm sure it doesn't help that I was dreaming about my 2nd story idea, which I don't want to give up details too, but let's just say it's the stuff nightmares are made of, and directed toward teens;) yup my goal in writing is apparently to scare people in a this is somewhat romantic way. Don't ask me.. It works in my head. And yes that is the same place where neighbors are evil, head spinning ceiling walking demons. What can I say?:)

Where is the sleep

I spent weeks being sick and unable to breath. Which led to endless nights of Nyquil and easy times passing out. Well now that I'm feeling better it's impossible to sleep! Thanks a lot Nyquil! It doesn't help that I have an offer in on the perfect house, please please please let me get this house please! Or that I now have 2 stories playing through my head, although I'm unable to write because I'm insanely obsessed with this house! I'm almost to 20,000 words though.. Holy trash batman! 20K?! It's crazy hard to believe.. I just sent out my 1st draft/ free write, whatever you prefer to call it, to my trusty test readers! Although this draft is full of giant grand canyon sized holes I have solid path and direction! I feel good about this WIP and I'm hoping said test readers will agree.

Well I guess I should at least attempt to sleep since I open tomorrow. I'll let you know what happens with perfect house! Goodnight (hopefully! *fingers crossed!)

Cyber stalking

I was thinking today that people complain and play the victim too much over stupid decisions they've made themselves. It's annoying when you try to blame other people for the shit in your life when it's your damn fault your there in the first place. Even better is when they turn bitter and jealous and decide they need to take everyone down with them. Ruin more lives then those already ruined. Say shit that is not now nor was it ever true. Is watching the world go on without you from the outside worth it?

Yup happy new years! At least I had a blast with friends and AMAZING husband on new years eve. And happily sober for the first new years in a while. It felt really good, I'm for sure happier where I am now. We played just dance and had tons of fun! I love my true friends and my life:)