Thankful

I've been itching to blog. There's a lot going through my head. I've been trying to decide if I should do more of a I need to get it off my chest post or a thankful for post. And I think it's going to land somewhere in the middle. But I'll start out with thankful and see where we get.

It's been a long year but there are of still so many things to be thankful for:

1. Always and forever Seth AKA the best husband ever. Surviving a miscarriage as a couple is a bonding and a heart breaking time as well as a rough time. I'm sure it depends on the couple and how it's taken. Seth and I are pretty solid, we know and understand relationships take work and we don't take each other for granted. Even in a strong relationship dealing with a miscarriage I've had moments of I need to just be alone. But Seth has been amazing supportive and loving. I couldn't do anything with out him. He's made me who I am and when I don't know exactly who that is he helps me find it. He's my best friend, my forever and always, my one true love.

2.  Taiyden. He's one of the biggest blessings in my life. If I had had a miscarriage as my first pregnancy I know I would've just said this is a sign, I'm not having any children. But I know what a sweet blessing he is in my life and because of him I'm not ready to give up. He has a beautiful soul and I love watching him learn and grow every single day. 

3. Family. My mom is always willing help out in ANY way (more than I can even write) and I don't know what I'd do with out her in my life. Thanks mom! I love you!  

My dad and Yalanda help me with Taiyden and living so close to them has been amazing. I'm grateful for Yalanda being so perfect for my dad and all the amazing things she's made for us over the years. I'm grateful for my dad being a great 'papa' and supportive dad. 

Jerri and John are probably the best in laws I could ask for. I'm grateful to have them in my life and I'm glad we got to spend some good time with them in st George this fall. And Taiyden loves when nana comes to visit!

I'm grateful for Michael, even though my husband never knew him, I wouldn't have my husband without him. I'm grateful my angel Greyson is with him, that he's loved and not alone. It's the most comforting thought I have in my life right now. 

Ryan is the best brother ever! It's strange growing up. I used to see him everyday and we'd fight and raise hell and now I hardly ever see him but he's an amazing guy. I'm so proud of who he's grown up to be. I'm glad he's my brother! 

Katy and Jon. Although Kate has only been my sister for a few years I feel like we were meant to be sisters. It's awesome having a sister. When I tell her about people I have problems with she's quick to help me fight them and support me. She's been so sweet and loving through my miscarriage. I'm happy she was brought into my life. I've known Jon an even shorter amount of time but he makes my sissa happy and Taiyden loves him so he's good in my book! 

Brandon and Brenda. I'm going to give out a possible embarrassing thing for Brandon :) I LOVE that he was posting crib ideas on Pinterest. I think it's the cutest ever! I'm so so so excited for my very first niece on my side! He's going to be a great dad! He set up a crib for us when we went to Michigan and it was fun to watch him and Taiyden. Brenda is perfect for him and I've enjoyed getting to know both of them. 

I have quite a few inlaw siblings. I'm not going to pick anyone out specifically with them. I know things aren't always perfect in that department but I do love them all.

4. Friends.  I've realized I don't have very many friends anymore. It's all because I work far too much but I'm grateful for the ones who stick by me through every thing no matter how busy I or we get. Especially my Jamie, and Jenn and Aubrey. Those are 3 that have stuck by me no matter what. I love you guys! 

5. Books. I'm grateful for the escape from reality. It's much needed sometimes. But I'm also grateful for the people brave enough to write about their miscarriage experiences. It's been super helpful. 

6. Music. If you know me this doesn't really need to be explained

7. My job. At times I really hate it, but I know I'm fortunate to have a great job and steady income. 

8. My faith

9. Our reliable cars.

10. Our house to keep us safe and warm

11. Freedom and for those who help fight to keep it free.

12. Kody dog

13. Modern technology. I'm grateful for things like our amazing baby monitor and being able to watch Taiyed while he sleeps. Or being able to know I was having miscarriage before there were any terrifying and heartbreaking signs.