Tuesday, March 17, 2015

10 things I do as a mom

Becoming a mom changes the weirdest things in your life. Here's a few ways it's changed mine.

1. Parking as close to the cart return at the grocery store as possible. Before I had kids parking at the store was mindless. It didn't matter where I parked, and Id often forget where I had parked since I didn't think much of it. Now that I have kids it makes me want to cry when there are no close spots to the cart return. Or worse there is one but they've already picked up the carts. Then I have to haul the car seat inside wrangle a toddler and hope we survive the parking lot journey. 

2. Take 2 hours to leave the house. In order to leave the house I have to get 3 people fully dressed, pack the diaper bag, change a diaper take the toddler to the potty, do hair, put on socks and shoes and by the time we're ready to go someone has inevitably spit up on themselves, needs to go potty again or had a major blow out, sometimes all three, and we have to start all over. And there's the getting everyone in the car, once I get the baby strapped in my toddler has usually run half way down the street and I have to take a jog down the street as the toddler laughs and keeps running. Then when I catch him he cries and screams like I'm kid napping him. So because he's upset I just do the straps on his car seat which makes him cry more because he didn't do it himself.

3. Shopping trip juggling act.  So you go to the store you grab a cart to fill up with all the things you need to survive, you know the escentials food, diapers, milk, etc. except now you have to stick a two year old in the front of the cart and a car seat with a baby in the cart. Good luck getting all things you need in that cart too. It's like a giant real life game of Tetris. Then once you get to the checkout you need to make sure there are no hidden items as you pay. I've had to go back in to pay for things twice because they were hiding under a car seat. Which is not fun when  you have a crying baby and tired toddler. 

4. Doing dishes 93 million times a day. In fact you might as well take up permenant residence in front of the sink with short trips to the washer and dryer for all the clothes that get covered in puke and other unmentionable things. Unless you have an endless supply of bottles(which if you go that route your house will be covered in dirty bottles), your hands will always be dry from dish soap and you'll see the wall/window/whatever is behind your sink in your dreams. 

5. Date night/ get me out of here debate. This isn't about a debate with your spouse he more than likely wants to get out just as much as you. But it's an internal debate. Mine goes something like this: 'aw man that sounds awesome I'm totally gonna take my husband to that' 'but it's like 4 hours long, and if we get dinner then we're gone for 5 or 6 hours who is gonna watch our kids that long?' '*guilt over leaving*' '*more guilt*' 'but I really want to go!' All of this is always either ends with us not going because I talk myself out of it or we go and usually have fun, but I feel bad for sticking someone with my kids, I mean I think they're amazing and I love being with them, but I worry they'll annoy other people.  Plus everything needs to be planned you can't just do anything spur of the moment. I love my kids and wouldn't trade them for anything but I miss the 'I'm bored lets go out,' and just going.

6.  Go to sleep early and still never get enough sleep. Before kids Id stay up late sleep in late and feel rested. Now I go to bed early and wake up every 45 minutes rotating between the toddler and the baby. If I'm lucky I catch a few minutes of sleep in the toddlers bed or babies rocking chair, before waking up for good somewhere between 6 and 7:30. 

7. Listen to the same song over and over and over and over. Okay admittedly every once and awhile Id find a song I loved before kids and listen to it on repeat but I could stop before I hated the song. Now the toddler can turn a great song into something of nightmares, literally some of the songs have made soundtracks to disturbing dreams since I heard nothing but it all day long.

8. Never peeing alone. And I mean never! It ranges from tiny fingers poking under the door to a kid sitting on your lap. True story!

9. Wearing your pants way to high. Maternity clothes mess with your mind and comfort level. I wish I could wear them every day! So my teenage self is laughing her ass off at my mom jeans waist line.

10. Endless love, snuggles, kisses, and Magic moments. Having kids is one of the best things I've ever done in life, beat out only by marrying my very best friend! I'll take all the love and snuggles and even tears over never having it.


What are some things you do as a mom you never thought you'd do?

2 comments:

Jenna Stephens, MDA, RD said...

GREAT list!! On man, I really can identify with everyone of them, and that's just with one little one. The shopping cart return and trying to fit everything in while grocery shopping has to be way more difficult with 2! I also feel the guilt over leaving for a night out, and I never thought that would be me! We went on 2 dates of less than 2 hrs each the whole first year, and this second year is only slightly better. Thanks for the post, really enjoyed reading someone voice so many things I feel too! xo

Unknown said...

When you really want the last of the chocolate milk and don't want your kids to see so you sneak into your closet and hide in there to finish it off then act as surprised as them when they realize it's gone