Why I don't regret voting 3rd party

Ive been thinking I would just keep my mouth shut today but I'm going to put this here because I need to say at least this.

I voted 3rd party and I know a lot of people are upset with people, like me who made that choice. But let me tell you why I did it and why I don't regret it.

I live in Utah where politicians don't pay much attention to us because we only have 6 little electoral votes and we haven't gone anything but red in 50 years. I'm pretty sure it would take God himself coming to Utah to ask them to vote a different way before you would see it happen. And even then I don't have much faith in them. But with the democratic candidate being so pro things like LATE TERM abortion it's hard to come to terms with in a state that is dead set pro family(which I could have a lot to say about but this isn't what this post is about). Anyway.. this brings me to point one: I felt like Utah had a better chance going purple than blue.

I wanted utah to go purple to stand up for something! I knew in reality it probably wouldn't make a difference to the outcome (and it wouldn't have). But I want to see change in the parties. This was my best option to be a part of that change in Utah.

I also didn't feel dirty voting for who I voted for, of course I don't agree with EVERY statement or belief he had but I liked him as a person and liked a great majority of what he was standing for. And honestly you will never find someone who you agree with 100% unless of course you run yourself.

I voted in a way that I could tell my children about and help me to teach them to look up to great people and not settle for someone who will belittle them, or teach them that breaking the law and endangering others is okay. I don't regret voting 3rd party just on this principle. I may not be able to tell my kids look at this man who is our president and be like him, but I can tell them I stood for what I believed in. And I hope someday more people will be brave enough to do the same.

Although if you ask me if I would've voted differently in a state that might have an impact I'd have to say I would have. Which makes me a little sad. Which is hard to explain. But I live where I live and this was the best way for me to make a stand. It wasn't to hurt anyone and I wish it would have worked. But I did what I could.

All of this being said I'm not giving up on our country. I won't stop teaching my kids that love trumps hate. I won't stop hoping for unity in our great nation. I will strive to find a way to make the world a better place even if it's only in the lives of the small majority of people I personally come in contact with.  All I can do is MY personal best. And hope it rubs off on my children and there are 2 more who do their personal best. I will continue to pray for ways to help others and for hearts to be softened and people to come together. I won't loose faith or myself.  Much love, much respect for whatever your beliefs are. Stay positive and love your life.

Sunday ramblings

I don't think it's much of a secret that church things haven't been great for me lately. I do believe in God. But I believe that any religion that brings you closer to God and gives you peace is right for you. I don't believe there is only ONE true church. I don't believe any church has all the truth. I do believe families are eternal and not just for here on earth. But the following ramblings is one of the biggest things I've been struggling with. 

Every time I talk to anyone about issues I have with the church I get some form of just follow and it will work out. But here's the thing.. We believe that in the preexistance there was a war between satan and jesus. Satans point of view was 'send me! I will make them all see the way it is and they will obey.' Or essentially I will create zombies who just follow. Where as Jesus' point of view was 'send me! I will teach them and they will be able to choose.' Or we can research and find our own way. So I'm not saying the things the church are teaching are leading us or anyone to hell BUT which plan does just follow and it will work out seem to follow along with. 

There are things I LOVE about the church but I feel like there's so much hate in the world and some of the things the people in the church do or teach isn't loving. And any research into church history isn't comforting, which we're not supposed to do because we should just follow. Any way that's only a slight scratch into my thoughts that run much deeper but i don't want to get into it that much. Not yet anyway. 

Going out more often!

We have a trip coming up in July to go see 311 in Vegas. I know big shocker, us going to another 311 show😉. We were only going to go for one night to save some money but we decided we'll only live once and we're going for 2 nights! I'm going to miss my kiddos like crazy but I'm so excited to get out there and do more.

I've been thinking a lot about it lately and a lot of times we don't go do things because of money but I think we're going to try harder to GOMO (go out more often) instead of spending money on things. 

A few of our ideas are:

1. Vacations, we've got a few planned. Vegas, Michigan, hopefully a cruise in March. 

2.lagoon! We bought season passes and plan to use them as much as possible this summer.

3. Hikes. This one doesn't even typically cost anything and it's a great way to spend time with family. We'll probably do lots of walks and spending time at the playground this summer too.

4. I put my son into a summer day camp that lasts a week that I found on groupon. 

5. And I'm looking into a strider bike race for the kids that I found through eventbrite. Which is a pretty great place to go if you're looking for actives going on near you! Evenbrite allows you to create your own events, sell tickets, and RSVP to events.

What ways are you going to GOMO? 

Here's some TMI just for you!

So my amazing friend Aubrey has found out recently that she has endometriosis. So I'm doing this post for her. Periods should be talked about. Not just the bad ones but the normal ones. I'm not posting any of this to brag, so hopefully it doesn't come off like that. But I feel like women should know what is normal and what is not.

I'm pretty sure I'm more on the normal side. And while I'm sure everyone is different I just want to share a story from the normal side. 

First of all cramps. Yes I have them. Yes they suck, but they don't disrupt my life. I remember in high school having days where they were so bad I'd lay on the bathroom floor of our 80 some odd year old high school. Which is pretty gross and they put me on birth control to 'normalize' my hormones. And once I found a bc that didn't make me bat shit crazy, it worked. I went from 7 day periods with terrible cramps to 3 day periods with bearable cramps that could be controlled with minimal pain meds. 

I stayed on bc until after I was married and we were ready for kids. I was terrified to quit, thinking the 7 day periods and horrible cramps would come back. But they didn't. I stayed with 3 to 4 day periods and manageable cramps. It took us almost a year after quitting to get pregnant but even after my pregnancy my periods stayed 3-4 days. 

I have crazy PMS. I feel like a ticking time bomb that gets more and more wound up until I actually start my period. I get bloated and have a hard time not eating everything! I feel like I want punch evryone and tell them all they suck. I get pretty down on myself and just feel like I need to crawl out of my skin. It starts about a week prior to my period but doesn't get super bad until a day or 2 before. I can always tell the day right before because I should be locked in a room by myself and not allowed to talked to anyone! It's bad. As soon as my period starts its like a release. I still have the food cravings but everything else kind of winds down. So in a weird way I'm always happy to see my period start. And maybe that's weird and not 'normal' I don't know, but I haven't killed anyone... Yet.

So that's pretty much my normal. What's your normal? Let's talk about it.. Let's let girls know when something should be looked at more closely. Let's teach them when they need to go to a doctor and say no this isn't normal! 

And one more fun thing;) I decided to try softcups this month instead of tampons. I'm honestly a bit scared😁 does anyone else use them? So far they've been fine. I decided to try them because I'd like to switch to the diva cup, because I have this fear of some grand emergency happeneing and having to deal with tampons. Ladies this would be horrible! Anyway what are your thoughts? 

CrAzY

The definition of crazy is doing something over and over and expecting different results. Well I'm pretty sure all moms are bat shit crazy. 

I spend my days cleaning up messes, that will surely be returned 10 fold within 5 minutes, expecting things to stay clean for I don't know at least one day. Making meals that will get looked at with disgusted faces and barely get eaten, expecting my kids to finally go to bed without saying 'but I'm hungry!' Aw I love being mom but I hope they're saving me a good padded cell in the nut house.

How do all you moms deal with the crazy?  I know I could use a few extra arms and a few extra hours after bedtime. 

But also look my house is clean for the next 2 minutes. 

Hard days

I'm not perfect. No one is. But today has been rough. I'm not sure if it's that I'm not feeling very well, or that Mother's Day made me think about my angel baby who would be turning 2 this month, or if it's that my son has told me a thousand times he's bored today which makes me feel like a lame mom. But anyway turn up the music and hopefully turn things around tomorrow.

 

Mother's Day 🌷

I have so many great examples of mothers in my life. 

Starting with mom, my first example of motherhood. I'm so grateful for her. She's always there when you need her. 

My step mom has been a blessing in our lives and we're glad she's a part of our family! 

My mother-in-law raised quiet an amazing man. I'm glad for her strong influence in his life.

I've had sweet grandmothers and amazing great-grandmothers. My grandmas never got to meet my children but I'm grateful for my husbands grandmother and her role in my children's lives.

So many friends who have many different struggles but always make motherhood look so good:) 

I've been blessed with faboulous aunts.

And amazing sisters who are aunts to my children. 

Thank you to all the ladies who are an example to me! 

Being a mom has been one of the greatest things I've done in life. My kids bless my life daily. I'm grateful for the 2 I get raise here on earth and the one who I will meet on the other side. 

My favorite Mother's Day story so far is my son came into my room yesterday and found where daddy had hidden my gift. He was so excited about it. He pulled it out and brought me the grocery bag holding it out with a huge grin. 'Momma here's your super surprise!' I looked over at him and said 'oh baby I think that's for tomorrow.' And he looked so dejected it broke my heart. So I grabbed him in a big hug and told him I was excited to see it tomorrow. He gave me a big kiss and told me loved me. 

When I woke up this morning he said 

'Mom I left you sleep, open your present now!' I'm so happy to have these angels in my life!

Goals

Giving yourself something to look forward to and work towards seems like a pretty good way to fight off some negative thoughts. If you have a true path you can say to yourself is this thought, action, or decision going to get me closer to my goals? If the answer is no than its not helpful to you. I'm betting the negative thoughts you have through out the day often fall in the no category. So here's a few things I'd like out of life.

1. To have a good relationship with my husband. I want my husband to be in my life, to be my best friend and my first choice. I always hate saying that it's work to make this possible because I love all the things it takes to make this happen. I like spending time with my husband, I like talking to him, and I like doing things together. So it doesn't feel like 'work' but I don't know what else to call it. If I don't do those things if I don't make him a priority I know how quickly it can all unravel. So I'll 'work' towards our life together forever. 

2. I want my kids to grow up to be good productive parts of the world. I want them to have a relationship with their Heavenly Father. I want them to make their own choices and live their own lives. But I want them to know I'll always be there behind them if they need me. I want to be their parent first and foremost but I want them to feel like they could talk to me like a friend if they needed it. 

3. I want to travel some. I want to take my kids to Disney and Harry Potter world and stuff like that. I want to see 311 at red rocks and go on the 311 cruise. I want to go to Ireland and England. I want some vacations with my kids and some with just my husband. I know a lot of this will have to wait at least a few years but it's something to look forward to and save for. 

4. I want to finish my book. I've been writing a book for longer than I'd like to admit. Well 2 actually I tend to go back and forth between the 2. I don't have any real dreams of being published. It'll probably never actually be read by anyone and that's okay but I really want to finish it. 

5. I want to figure out my own relationship with God. I don't know how much detail I want to go into on this. Because it's very personal to me, but I was not meant to follow blindly. I'm a very opinionated person and sometimes that makes this hard. 

6. I want a job I love. I'm 31 and have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. I want to raise my kids and being home with them right now is my number one priority but someday they'll be in school and/or capable of staying home alone and I'd like to go back to work. But I don't want to do something that's just a job, I really want to love it. 

7. I want to stay at a point where I feel comfortable in my own skin. I don't want to make this a 'this is the only weight I'll be happy at' thing. But I want to stick to working out and living a healthy lifestyle so I'll like myself, live long enough to love up my great grandchildren, be an example for my kids and family. 

Stay positive and love your life!

I've been thinking a lot about life and happiness and the things I want. There's a lot of negativity in my life and some days it feels like it might take over. Like I can't stop its flooding into my soul and thoughts. That's not how I want to live my life by any means. There's enough hate and stupid in the world with out me adding to it. So I've decided to start a positivity challenge with myself. So to start off a few 'rules'

1. Ponder the things you want to accomplish in life. What are you going to do to get there. But no getting down on yourself. 'You can do it!' (I'll write a blog post about life goals, and other goals soon, maybe tonight)

2. Read good books. My mind is happier when it gets a good workout with reading. I don't want reading to take over my life because I have a tendency to lose myself in books but I want to have a good balance with reading.

3. Listen to good music. Take 15 minutes a day to crank up some tunes. Have a dance party with the kids or go for a run with it. but music affects my soul and well being. I'll try to share some songs every day or at the very least when I come across a good one. 

4. Try not to beat myself up over little things. When something starts to eat at me figure out how to fix it or how to live with it. Sometimes I can't fix things, not everything is going to be perfect always. But letting that ruin my day or thoughts does me no good. 

5. Let the negative go. 

I may add or change things as I go but I'll try to share progress when I can:) 

For today I'll share a few of my go to songs when I'm feeling down and a story. 

So story first:

I'm amazingly lucky. Both of my children go to bed easily. It's something I'm always grateful for. I don't think I'd have the patience at the end of the day to deal with kids who won't go to sleep. But I rarely have to deal with that so it's hard to say.  I've never had to spend much time wondering about crying it out or any other sleep methods, my kids just sleep. 

  Tonight however my daughter was struggling to fall asleep and crying in her crib. So after a few minutes I went in and picked her up I rocked her a few minutes and just stared in to her eyes. Which were alert and full of wonder. I was feeling kind of tired and was concerned that maybe she just wouldn't go to sleep. She just seemed so awake. I laid her down in her crib and she immediately tried to get up and reach for me again. So I thought eh I'm just going to climb in her crib with her for a minute. I've never really done this, I've gotten in with her just kind of messing around but never to get her to sleep. 

  As I was laying there the negative thoughts started to creep in. I shouldn't be doing this. She's never going to want to sleep alone again. I'm going to ruin her awesome sleeping behavior, blah blah blah. But then I took a deep breath and told myself to stop. No more negative thoughts! I took in the moment. I watched her big beautiful brown eyes start to get heavy with sleep. I felt her chubby little hand resting on my cheek. Those little hands that have learned to do so much in the past 19 months, hold bottles, forks, spoons, sippy cups, color on walls, paper and everything else, throw balls and give the worlds best hugs. Those tiny amazing hands that hold mine when she's learning something new for support, or reach for things as she learns independence. It felt like her whole world placed upon my cheek, and I thought someday she won't need me. So tonight I'll enjoy it. Tonight I'll soak this in and memorize her hand print on my face, burn it in to my memory. 

  And with the positive twist in my mind set a little of that ball of stress in my chest released. My daughter eventually kissed me good night and fell asleep on her own and there was never really a need to worry. I need to remember to take in the little things. 

Songs: