Um, Is he still alive?

So working in a theatre I have seen some really strange things. People getting it on in theatres, drunk guys passed out in the bathroom on the floor, 21 empty beer cans in a children's movie, guys spitting their chew on to the floor (I made him mop it up himself.), Hobo's asleep behind the screens, drunk teens, fights over seats, stoned teens, gang fights in the lobby, you name it I've seen it. 

It's a movie theatre not a bar! but sometimes I get confused myself with these people.  My latest venture was some guy who fell asleep in his movie.  The movie ended and he stayed asleep. The usher yelled at him and he stayed asleep.  They turned on the night cleaning lights and he stayed asleep.  They hit a broom against the floor near the guy, he stayed asleep. So of course they call me. "Sir your movie is over its time to go," we say, and he stays a sleep.  "Is he dead??" I ask. But no... he's breathing. We finally had to shake his chair for like a full minute to wake him up. I was scared he might shank us if we touched him!

So a few guidelines for the next time you go to the movie.
-We are not a bar, we do not serve alcohol nor are we okay with you bringing your own.
-Chewing is disgusting in and of it self but I don't want to clean up your cancer spit! So Just don't chew in the theater!
-Just because your the only people in a children's movie does not mean you can break out the alcohol, bag of weed or condoms! Don't do it in any movie but especially not in a kids show! come on! And yes I can smell the Alcohol and weed on you.  I'm not stupid!
-We are not a hotel.  you can't stay the night in the seats behind the screen in the bathroom or anywhere else! and I do NOT want to stay 20 extra minutes after I get off to chase you out! I have to open the next day!
-We are not a boxing ring.  It's not okay to throw fists around. Gangs are stupid anyway but if they want to beat you up to be friends with you, maybe you should think about that before doing it in or in front of a theatre or anywhere.
-I don't like taking tickets out of your mouth or your pockets. it's creepy.
-I hear you talking to me you don't need to touch me to make sure I'm paying attention.  In fact I'll pay better attention if you DON'T touch me.
-Kindness will you get you more than yelling with me.
-And just because you lost your credit card does NOT mean one of my employees stole it!
- If you want to drink in a movie go to Brewvies.