Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Regret

My biggest regret in life:

I really don't believe in regret, I believe in learning from mistakes and that you were probably meant to go through any trial or situation. But I do have 1. So..

When I found out I was pregnant in early  September of 2013 I wasn't ready. I felt like my son was still to little, that we hadn't paid off my medical bills from my first pregnancy, and it wasn't planned. I'm a planner, with my first pregnancy it took months and months to get pregnant, this one just came. And I regret that I cried and that I felt this way at all. It took me only an hour after finding out to become excited. But still for an hour I felt all these sad things. When I saw his little heart beat I got even more excited! I knew he was boy I just did and I couldn't wait to meet him. when we went back to the doctor 2 weeks later there was no longer a heartbeat, and I felt my heart break. A bad day for hearts I suppose. But I regret that I spent one hour of his short little life sad that he was coming. I wish I would've just celebrated him for every second he had. I think he understands, but it still makes me so sad. And I have a very strong feeling he knew if he came for his whole life that his little sister wouldn't get her chance. So I'm grateful for the opportunity to meet her and love her! And I know I'll meet our Greyson one day. 

2 comments:

Aubrey Anne said...

Talk about tear jerker!! Love you.

Deb R said...

You showed him a lot of Love! I know he felt it! God Bless You Sweetie. Your children are very Lucky to have you for their Mother!