DEAR SANTA

Everyone keeps asking what I want for christmas so here it is :)

Dear Santa,

• With my wedding coming up the biggest help would be money for sure!
• iTunes gift cards
• season 2 of everwood
• season 5 of nip tuck
• movie poster frames
• pans big enough to cook hamburger in some how I don't have one
• eclipse in paperback
• cereal, mt dew, any of the basics
• any kind of gift cards do ;)
• any seasons of how I met your mother
• an electric blanket

Thats all I can think of for now :) thanks all!

Where the Wild things go to die

If you're thinking of taking your small children to Where the Wild Things Are I'd think twice about it. It's not directed towards small children, unless of coarse you want them to know that one day the sun will die, there is a lot of sadness in the world and no one can change that, and you may just get eaten by creepy looking puppets. Add on the rewarding your child with food and the stressed out parenting it makes an odd movie at best.

The movie starts out promising a bit hard to watch because it was a little like watching my brother as a child and was a bit sad but promising that it may get better and be somewhat cute. but once you get to where the wild things are the movie dies, the Creatures are so unhappy and battling far too adult issues for children. As you sit in the theater hoping for it to get better and resolve it self it only gets worse and leaves you with more of an anxious feeling. By the time little annoying Max leaves the island you're happy to see him go and hoping to never hear howling sounds again. Anxious to get back to Max's real life and find out how that will turn out all you get is a hug from mom and some chocolate cake.

Over all you leave the theater feeling unsatisfied a bit confused and ready to pull your brains out through your eyes. I'd say its a pretty huge disappointment.

It needs to be said

Just so you know People are not in this world to serve you! If you're getting something for free and keep DEMANDING someones time and then act like an ass and look down on them when they're busy doing the part of the job they get paid for you need to know this! THE WORLD DOESN'T OWE YOU ANYTHING! If you're a manager and won't hire people because you feel threatened you may lose your job let me ask you... How the Hell did you become a manager? who beleived in you and why cant you do the same for other people? What is wrong the world? If you offer to help a friend and then decide to rip them off, I think your messed up! Where do people get the idea these things are okay? the world could be so much better if people could stop being selfish just for 5 minutes and think about other people. Im so frustrated with people telling lies having Jobs and doing nothing when others of us work our asses off and will eventually have nothing. If you think you can do my Job better than me well congrats you may end up getting your chance I hope you enjoy it! I did I love my Job but apparently that doesn't matter anymore apparently now its all about only hiring people you know will fail so you end up looking better in Comparison, holding grudges, and stealing from friends. well I don't want to be like that! I want to help other people find something they love, have a Job and excel. I want actually help my friends when I say I will and I want to be less frustrated with people. but they only give more reasons every day to be frustrated! Just grow up everyone play nice and be an adult for a little while.

to the no good exs

I know you just want to kill meEnd the pain inside I still reached out my hand to you like an innocent child You took me for a rideYou took me for all the other fools in your life Now I don't care about your pain anymore I need to say goodbye You're worth nothing to me It's easy to forget what you've done to me You took me for a ride You took me for all the other fools in your life Now I don't care about your pain anymore The world is filled with sunshine, love and roses You bleed enough, and then the bleeding stops What you’ve done to me I need to say goodbye You took me for all the other fools in your life Now I don't care about your pain anymore I don't care about your pain anymore

-Vast I need to say goodbye

quick update

I haven't written in a while so I feel like I should. Things are busy even when I get a vacation I feel super busy. I've been off work this week spending time with my mom and cousin. We took my Cousin on a Hike up to Timpanogos cave its was way fun and I got to spend some good time with some of my favorite people. I do however miss the rest of my favorite people and feel like I haven't seen them in forever! I wish I had more free time to see everyone! anyway I'll post some pics and try to keep up on events :)

Dear Boys

If you are of the Male gender this is for you!

If you're not man enough to be a father... wrap it up or keep your pants on!

If you're not strong enough to be honest and end it when you've found someone else .... you don't deserve to have anything.

If you're not brave enough to take a chance when it seems like there could be something good there... you should just lock yourself in a dark room with your xbox for all of eternity.

If your not willing to open doors for girls... maybe you should consider dating boys.

If you're going to run at the first sight of trouble and not try to work things out... maybe you shouldn't ever get married.

If you're not kind enough to move the hell out when you leave your spouse high and dry... maybe you just shouldn't leave.

If you don't really like what you're doing for a relationship but do it anyway... maybe you should get your head examined!

If you take something that is precious to someone that can't be given back and you throw away like yesterdays trash.... you don't deserve to breathe!

Im so tired of most the boys these days! what the hell is your problem?! no it is not your god given right to have 3 or 4 girlfriends in fact if you marry that many its against the law! No its not okay to lie and cheat, No birth control is not only the girls problem. Yes you do have to take responsibility for your own mistakes and problems and YES life is hard not only for your self centered self but for every single living person! So GROW UP!! be an adult! you are not peter pan you do not live in never never land! and Women are people too who deserve to be treated as such and plus some!

Seth you're amazing and none of this about you. my lovely friends I really am going to go on a junk punching tour staring the one and only me, and the douche bags of the world laying on the floor crying in pain! I love you and you all deserve so much better! I know you'll find it! and I hope everything gets better!

To everyone I love

Im so sorry to everyone for how busy I have been. I feel like I have been neglecting my duties as Daughter, Sister, Friend, and girlfriend alot. I have been so busy that I have gotten behind on so much including bills and watching where I spend my money. So Im trying to get everything back on track. and pick up all of the pieces. so..

To those of you who have texted me and I've seemed distracted.... It doesn't mean I wasn't listening and feeling for you. Im always here I just don't always have advice as I go through fixing my own problems and trying to get on a normal schedule. I love you and I don't want you to stop talking to me please keep texting me and keeping me updated! I promise to do what I can to help or listen if thats all you need

To those of you who have listened to me cry and stress... Thank you for listening and always being there! I totally appreciate it! I couldn't do any of this with out you!!

To Aubrey... I am so proud of how strong and amazing you are! I love that you share your opinions and I never want you to stop! never let anyone talk you out of that! you're a great mom and your boys truely adore you! Im so sorry for everything you're going through you deserve nothing but the best and I get so mad that you don't get treated the way you truely deserve! I hope with all my heart that things shape up and get better and you're family survives these difficult times! I love you Josh and Asher like you're my own family and I can't wait to meet the new little boy to soon join the group!

To Nataile.... You have come so far!!! I have learned so much from you and with out your help and support I would have never made it through everything with Brett. You truely let me lean on you when I really needed it. I hate that things were bad with us for awhile, I hate more than anything that I let something so stupid come between us I was so lost. Im so so happy that you gave me another chance. You are one of my best friends and one of the few people I feel like I could tell anything too. You're always and forever there when I need you and you've grown and changed so much! the way you have dealt with your divorce is amazing! you have such amazing strength to get through all of that and demand that you be treated right. you're truely an inspiration! and you have such great talent stick to the photograhpy you're going to be great! I know it! and I can't wait to start our Daycare! Im sorry I haven't shown much interest of late but Im still totally in!

To Jamie.... I know exactly what you are going through right now. you'll get through it even though you still can't see the light at the end of the tunnel just yet. I am always always always here when you're ready to talk. I love you!

To Jenn.. I know you're somewhat of a new friend but I value your opinions you are strong and have great ideas. Your family is amazing and thats because you're a great support and awesome mom. You're in my thoughts and prayers I know good things will happen for you and Brad.

To Meg and Betsy..... Im sorry I haven't seen you guys lately things have been so busy! and both of you got me through so much and we had so much fun! you're both my girls!

To Seth..... where do I even start? You're my perfect match! when you hold me everything disappears and becomes managable. I have never ever felt the way I feel about you. Im so greatful I found you! I love that I can tell you anything and know you're still going to love me in the end. You amaze me every single day with the being proud to say im your girlfriend or the willingness to help me with anything, or the way you make me feel with a single touch or hug or even look. I can't imagine not having you in my life anymore. I can't even seem to figure out how I did it before. I want to make you happy and proud of me, I want to be better for you and be the best I can. Im greateful for everything that has brought me to you. I trust you with everything that I am, and I know beyond a doubt you would never do anything to hurt me on purpose. I love holding your hand and being near you. I LOVE YOU! you're my rock and my sanity.

To my mom.... You're amazing and Im proud of you for doing what you're doing. I miss you every day but I know its for the best. I love you so much and thank you for always doing everything you can to help me and listen to me. you're a good mom! and it takes amazing strength to do what you're doing and im so glad you're getting to take some time for you. I love you once I love you twice I love you more than beans and rice.

To my Dad.... I love you! I'll always be daddy's little girl and you'll always be my favorite dad! you've done so much for me in the past. and I'll always be greatful even though sometimes I don't seem like it. Im greatful for all the knowledge you've shared with me and for the part of me that is you! I've learned alot from you and hope to still learn more. Im glad I chose you and mom as my parents and Im glad you chose me too! I couldn't have asked for better parents or a better childhood. you did so much for us and you are good dad.

To Ryan.... You are stronger than you know! I have endless faith that you will find your path and be where you need to be. I know you can turn things around make a great life for yourself you just need to focus on you and the good things for you. know that your family loves you to no end and we'll always be here even when it doesn't seem like it. keep your head up stay strong and do what you need to do! all the answers lie within yourself. and you'll find them all.

Thank you to everyone I may not have mentioned you're still in my thoughts always! Im going to work on getting myself more organized and if anyone has any advice I'd love to hear it! thank you!!

Please just play nice and slow down

Why does it seem like When something goes wrong 300 things seem to follow. It seems like in the past month things have gone from bad to worse for all of the people around me that I care about. I wnat to just be able to make everything okay for everyone! and work has been crazy. I've been working like 50+ hours a week and now it seems like everything just wants to fall apart! blown speakers and loose broken wires and strange alarm like sounds and 4 prints to build up my head is tired and feet are tired and Im just tired! I just want things to be easy for a bit and chill. I wanna go away take a vacation and not think about any of this anymore!

Holy Transformers!!

Opening night of Transformers went of splendedly! we sold out all 13 theaters for the midnight and though I feel as though I could die from the never ending work it was a lot of fun! I love how happy and excited people are at midnights... well so long as everything goes well at least. but I didnt get off work until just about 4 am which makes for a tired me tomorrow but I got home and there was a note that said I love you on my bed and nothing else even mattered! super sweet! Im getting far too spoiled... but anyway... So transformers is pretty cool... fun movie... go see it! Happy Transforming lol yes I know time for sleep good night my loves!

My boyfriend

For those of you who know me you know Im not the type to fall for someone fast or really even let them in but I've met the most amazing person. I know I realize its gotten to this point pretty fast but trust me Im happy and doing fine. That being said Im throwing out the jealousy warning now because I know if this were someone else I'd be jealous and possibly not want to hear it so you've been warned. :)

where do I even start..... Okay his name is Seth, I work with his Brother who is also one of my favorite people, we met at his brothers house breifly and went to see a movie, fanboys, the next day with some mutal friends. Then he friend requested me on Facebook, we started talking a lot and shared a love for 311. I went down to hang out with his roommate and brother one night and he burned the new 311 cd for me the night before the cd was released which we all know me at that very point he'd forever be at least a really good friend! we continued chatting through facebook which led to how he'd never seen Newsies which led to me saying I'd bring it and we could watch it sometime. which was pretty much what happened even though we ended up watching Yes man and not Newsies, it was an awesome night just watching movies, eventually holding hands and super cute kisses oh and sharing of music! we had another night quite close to that and then the 311 concert!

We have so much in common..... and he's so super great! for example... he came to see me tonight with flowers and dvd's and get this.... he took me to my favorite resteraunt that I've mentioned to him once only once! He's so amazing and he tells me Im beautiful all the time and Im so over the top because no one has ever treated me the way he does! So we may have gotten to this point somewhat fast but would you let him go? anyway thats my story just thought I'd share so everyone could read at the sametime:) LOVE YOU ALL!!

Can you feel it?

What happened to the floor? I swear I was just standing on it and then it was gone...

but somehow I didn't fall... you were holding me up with a single touch the whole world just stopped or sped up Im not quite sure. All I know is that one minute Im happy being alone and with in seconds from one touch from one kiss its changed. Please don't take it away from me please hold what you're taking in a safe spot! Please say its real or if its not just let me sleep forever. You make me more happy than I can remember ever:)

Mean people suck!

So heads up this may be super bitchy but it keeps me from whining directly to people and being annoying so you really don't have to read it:)

Im not really sure why I let people saying mean things get to me, well maybe its just so called friends being mean that gets to me but it fucks with my whole world. granted it seems like a million and one bad things happen all at once. Im not real good with change and when things seem to change at a super rapid pace I seem to just lose control, at least in my head. Im sorry I've been whining to you lately!

I've realized I really relate a lot of things in my life to music depending on how things are going for me. I try to listen to good music because it really affects me but sometimes I really love the angry music the 'what do I do what do I say fuck you it all goes away!' just makes my day sometimes!

I want everyone to stop getting fired stop being mean. Its great how things can start with a missing hard drive and end up being so stressful and out of control that you don't even really know how you got there. take a deep breath get some good sleep and hope this helps to just let some out...

Sorry for being bithcy and random if you got through this I love you!! :)

Reasons why you should go watch Star Trek!

• J.J. Abrams is Awesome



• Its the best movie I've seen in a long time! (I've seen it 4 times and Im not sick of it yet)



• J.J. Abrams has put little 'easter eggs' in the movie, like theres an R2D2 can you find it? and the other refrences to his movies and TV shows?



• Super Hott boys!

• Angels and Demons sucks so you might as well see something good even if you've seen it already


• It wont be in IMAX very long


• Joe and I have to beat McKay


• It helps support my living


• all the tv shows are starting reruns


• Maybe if it does well enough they'll make another one


• What else are you going to do?

update

Things have been crazy busy for me the past few weeks with all the busy movies coming out... I do love it however because 1. I always have something to do 2. the more busy we are and the more shows we can add to bring in more people the worse theaters in the near by area do mainly AMC no offense to those who work there but that place is done. and 3. I love good movies!!

Im trying to finish Angels and Demons before the movie comes yes I know Im the slowest reader in the whole world but I think that goes along with my I've been busy thing... I really just want a few days I don't have to wear work clothes thats all.

My mom is in Ohio because my grandma is sick so I didn't get to see her for mothers day.... LOVE YOU MOM!!

anyway just thought I'd throw out a quick update go see Star Trek it rocks!!!!! and happy mothers day to all the moms!

Its just who I am

So I've realized that yes I may over think things sometimes but I have this need to understand everything. I need a why for things and I hate it when people won't just tell me why. I get over having my feelings hurt fast so if thats what you're worried about don't be. Its like math I can't do math because no one has ever been able to tell me why we need it.... So if you ever decide you don't want to be my friend or you don't want to talk to me just tell me why and I'll deal with it. I just need to know the details and understand.

Totally Awesome night!!!

Tonight was way awesome and fun! I got to spend time with some of my favorite people at the best sport and the best team won. Plus on top of that I got to jam to the new 311 song on my way there. Im on a crazy super high I need to sleep but Im far too wound up. Totally Awesome day! The game was fun as I sat there during the part I was pretty sure the Jazz were going to lose and I was feeling a bit down and was brought back up by crazy fun plans to figure out how to get to the cat walks. Then came 4th quarter and Oh wow did the Jazz pull it off it was so amazing and super intense! all followed but my own basketball game on the way to the car with a water bottle. Best night ever! Thanks Aubrey, Steve, Jamie, Nate and Ben for making it great!!

Hot yoga

So this morning I acutally got out of bed on a sunday and went to Hot Yoga... Yes Hot they keep the room at about 3 million degrees and its almost 2 hours long I really thought I was going to die. I have never sweat so much in my whole life!! I gave up about 45 minutes in and just laid there doing nothing but trying to breath and mostly falling asleep. and by the way the people who go to hot yoga wear basicly nothing. interesting strange litttle dudes thats all I gotta say. It was a great experience and it kicked my trash for sure..

hey you lyrics

You've changed your tunemany times since we've met

But I'll always recognize you

You are part of me I feel you, whether in Jamaica or in the Angel city

You're such a gift to me

Hey you I gotta tell you my long time friend

I think of all those years you saw me through tears

and the good times that we spend

Hey you You're my constant companion

You always let me explain just what I'm saying

and we've just begun

I've got one wish for this music to be an uplift

And I need an uplift to deal

There are few songs all the people can sing along one song

Come along and sing it for real

Hey you I gotta tell you my long time friend

I think of all those years you saw me through tears

And the good times that we spend

Hey you You're my constant companion

You always let me explain just what I'm sayingand we've just begun

As I wander around, town to town Lost and found When so many others come and go

The sweetness Pulls me through

Hey you I gotta tell you my long time friend

I think of all those years you saw me through tearsand the good times that we spend

Hey you You're my constant companion

You always let me explain just what I'm saying and we've just begun

Hey you You never turned your back on me when I gave up on myself

Hey you You never turned your back on me when I gave upon myself

State of Play and 17 again

So I watched State of play and 17 again last night. State of play was awesomely intense and interesting to watch it didn't feel like 7 reels at all. However it left me feeling a bit confused. I think there were a few things that were just left unanswered. Maybe I just need to watch it again? It has an amazing cast and they all do great in it. Its totally worth watching.

17 again was way cute and had some very funny parts. I had a killer headache and felt like I was going to die by the end of it but it was still good. Zac has an amazing body so that makes the whole thing worth it in itself.

Either way I think both are worth seeing. so check it out support the good theaters and go to the movies!

Things that are sexy

• A guy who can dress nice once and awhile but be totally comfortable and cuddly other times.

• If a guy makes a mistake and owns up to and really truely means to fix it. (ex. if a guy cheats on a girl and goes right home feeling truely sorry and tells her and talks it over with her, or gives her space to think if she needs it then talks it over with her and promises to really try to fix it, and means it. thats hott) So basicly Honesty is hott!

• Im all about the shoes a guy wears its one of the first things I look at, thats probably weird but thats me.

• Stick shift cars... lol even though I can't drive them its just sexy when guys do.. and Im not even saying it has to be a nice car, its more impressive to me if they bought themselves even if its trashy, than if mom and dad paid for it.

• Holding hands

• Guys who get into thier music and love to share it with you. (and making out to thier music is hott!)

• When a guy Plays with my hair or rubs my back

• when they notice you without you having to tell them (ex. Nice hair cut/ color)

• a guy who can cook

• Mixed cd's with all the songs that make him think of you

• being happy with each other even if there's nothing to do

• guys who will take care of you when your sick

• Guys who love their jobs

• falling asleep in a guys arms.

• a guy who likes to read

• A guy who will sing to you even if they suck

• Kisses on the back of the neck

• When a guy gives you his jacket cuz your cold.

• A guy who opens the car door for you, when you get in.

Happy Easter

So my picture is up on the adult dance and fitness website! yay! lol you love to see yourself working out so check it out:) I'll post them here to for fun

Well its late and its been a long day of work pole dancing and kicking it with the girls so I'll write more soon I'll leave you for now with this.... Boys are confusing:) Night my loves

Oh my Hannah Montana!

For the love of God do not go see this movie!!! I wanted to die! I had some hope that this movie would at least be semi decent like the Lizzie Mcguire movie but oh boy was I wrong! I want my hour and half back! I Just might find Miley and demand she give it back which rumor has it I may know just where to find her come friday..... possibly.

Anyway Dear Blog Im tired of idiot girls who fall for even more idiot boys and do any thing for them including missing things they enjoy just so idiot boy can prove to him self he can still wrap her around his finger and get her to do anything. Girls need to be stronger and say screw you, you don't respect me, all I am is a toy to you and I deserve to be treated better than this and one day I will be, and by someone better than you, and if not then Oh WELL I'll get a cat or two or three and I'll learn to be lonely and happy. Boys are not worth it!!!

In saying that girls don't need to wear super short skirts and ugly blonde wigs. They need to find themselves and be themselves and just be happy.

Hey you

Today was awesome! a beautiful 74 degrees outside and the new 311 song was released on the radio and I love it! Im so excited for the new cd June 2nd!

I got to go for a walk today which is where I do most of my thinking and I was thinking alot about friendship. and I think Im done trying to be friends with people who are only my friends when I contact them. Im tired of hypocritical people who get angry about things that I didn't even do but some how are my fault yet they turn around and do the exact same thing. I know I have made mistakes in my life and Im learning from them but if people cant see that then I can't fix it. I can't be in relationships with myself. I have 2 old friends who are getting married or so I hear and neither one of them have told me and that makes me sad. What can you do I guess.

always give yourself something to look forward to.... for me thats 311 on 6/11 and the new cd on 6/2!

Don't eat the chapstick

Have you ever met those girls who are good at getting guys to want them, not to marry them or date them but just want them? Is it just certian types of girls or is that all guys are incapable of anything else any more? How can guys be so sweet and charming and not mean a word of it? It makes no sense to me. Anyway just an observation....

Today I went to Yoga and loved it! Although Im already super sore and tired. Im just cuddled up on my Love sac watching Heroes. and loving my new place. I was really worried I'd be super lonely but it hasn't been so bad I really enjoy it so far. I feel more and more like I could do anything everyday. It no longer matters that some boy wanted some worthless girl who will never be even half of who I am I can be happy just being me and just being alone. Everything I do is for me and not for someone else who never even deserved me anyway. I've lost weight and learned to like working out I've moved into my own place and learned to not be lonely and I've done it all for me and me alone!

My Kings

I've started watching the TV show Kings on sunday night on NBC and its a really awesome show. I love the old kingdom feel of it yet its set in modern times. Christopher Egan is a total hottie too and plays the part well. Im a little nervous for macaulay culkin to join the cast next week but its a very interesting show and has a lot to it. 'you are mermaid in a sea of fish.'

Speaking of Kings my favorite King, played my favorite person ever, returns to show time tonight! thats right Jonathan ryhs myers returns for season 3 of the tudors! this season has my favorite of king henry the VIII's wives Jane. I'll miss Anne Boleyn because shes for sure his most entertaining wife but Jane has an awesome story and I can't wait to see how it plays out.

On another note I just want to say I love my girls and am so glad I got to spend sometime with them this weekend. They're my Queens and I love them to death! I hope they know I'd do anything for them!

So get your queens together and watch the hottie kings of sunday nights

Mac and cheese, Ellen, and time for work

Yup thats right Im eating the only thing in my house which is Mac and cheese and watching yesterdays Ellen! I need to leave for work in about 10 minutes... but I was just thinking I watched Double Jepordy last night and Oh wow I've never wanted to see someone die so bad! I think Im on a Bad men movie kick. And can I say Miley Cyrus is uber annoying I don't think I'll even watch mondays Ellen just because she's annoying in the commercials. Well I should get going... Thanks for reading the randomness :)

Sunshine Cleaning

Funny, sad and entertaining. Amy Adams is amazing as a women who lost her mother at a young age and later in life decides to start her own crime scene clean up business. Being a single mother in love with a married man she'd do anything to support her family. The relationships in this movie feel very real and all the characters draw you in to their lives.

This movie reminded me how awful most men are though why would you marry someone if you're going sleep with someone else. Stick with the one you love if you dump them for someone else don't think you can have them back if you're with someone else. And if you're not willing to leave that someone else you have no right at all to say the other girl can or cant date it is none of your business what that person does! further more if you're just using a girl, even if you're single and you don't want to make her your girlfriend or anything else you also have no right to get upset if she dates someone else.... Im just saying!

But go see the movie its really good!

What a thursday!

Oh today was long! But I love my Job even on the bad days I love it. I can't wait to go digital but I know I'll eventually miss the crazy thursdays... Maybe.. not the ones like tonight with both splicers broken and 2 build ups I couldn't start until 8pm. I suppose thats what happens when god of fixing splicers gets taken away. But thats a different rant for a different day.

Today was a sad day though I love My ER and am not sure what I'll do when I get off work on thursdays and can't sleep now... I guess I'll have to buy the seasons and start over! I loved the opening credits for ER tonight the old music and set up gave me goose bumbs! and hello Rory way to join on the last day!

But anyway its 4 am and I must sleep but I will share more and soon:)